My Soul-Food...

I will stay in my masculine energy until I feel safe; particularly in a relationship with a man; it's my defense mechanism - my survival mode - my lifestyle, as I've known no other way to live other than to fight or flight - to SURVIVE!  

When I can feel SAFE in another's presence is when my feminine energy will unveil.  Until then, I will stay in my protective mode; so, give myself grace!  Genuine connection will come in due time with the right person.  

Right Person+Right Time=Right Relationship

I am at a place in my life where I'm not dealing with anything  I don't have to; especially where I don't feel seen, heard, or valued.  My peace of mind is my priority!

What I tolerate and allow in my life is on ME!  Walk away - WALK AWAY - from people who don't treat me right.  When someone shows me who they are; watch, listen, trust that - trust them, else I could end up like this.  

I need: (1) Commitment, (2) Affection, (3) Communication, (4) Presence, and (5) Consistency.

1. I will not teach a grown person how to love me.
2. What one person will not do for me, another man will.
3. If people cheat, lie, steal; it's not my fault.
4. I will stop accepting "this is just who I am".  
5. People will treat/show me exactly how they think/feel about me.              
6. People will do anything for the people they love.
7. Peoples actions should support their words.
8. If one claims I'm too much; simply reply with:  "No, I'm just the perfect package at the wrong address."

1. Say less; my mouth can make/break me.
2. Don't take everything personally; people don't think about me as much as I do.
3. Don't focus on my problems. Focus on my possibilities and I will have more opportunities.
4. My struggles change my life for the better.
5. People:  I meet them for a reason - they either change my life, or I change theirs.
6. Try something new, boredom is for the unmotivated. Get up!
7. I will not truly understand the value of a moment until it becomes a memory!
8. Life is a mirror.

Toxic people will assume my emotions are invalid by claiming "I'm overreacting" because they're avoiding the shame they feel as a result of their actions toward me and instead of feeling and dealing, they will:

1. Avoid their shame and responsibility at my expense, and...
2. Create a dysfunctional diversion as opposed to communicating through to a resolve, and...
3. Will leave me feeling like I'm at fault for having emotions, and...
4. I will walk away feeling unheard and devalued, again.

...are my internal compass. Triggers indicate where I still need healing. I must engage with my Triggers as they are pointing me in the direction where I lack wholeness and need healing. Whatever I do not change is what I choose; so, I will continue to engage with my triggers and redirect my anxious-avoidance to one who is solidly-secure! 

...SO!  When triggered; STOP-DROP-FEEL-DEAL because self confidence is my most fashionable outfit!

1. How do we feel in each others presence?
2. Do we feel our relationship is fair to each other?
3. What can we do better to support one another?  Do we have more to offer each other that is being stunted by our insecurities?
4. When was the last time we participated in something meaningful to you, to me?
5. What if we threw caution to the wind and live without fear?
6. What 1 decision could we make; What 1 action could we take to change our trajectory
7. What would it feel like if love came by your house one day? 

People are not a commodity to leverage; they are intended to be loved - here's how:

1. Experiential:  Bond through shared experiences and routines!
2. Intellectual:  Explore ideas and new adventures together! 
3. Emotional:  Create a safe space to "be"!
4. Novelty:  Touch, Time, Togetherness!
5. Vulnerability:  Both partners feel safe, seen, and heard! No more guessing!?!?!

There is always a "Thing" below a "Thing".  Identify Thing 1, Thing 2, Thing 3...so, be mindful as to how I feel alone with my thoughts!

When I know my value and worth, I will choose better because My Choices reveal my belief in myself; so...

1. I Choose Faith over Fear!
2. I Choose Facts over Feelings!
3. I Choose my Who NOT my Do!
4. I Choose my Why NOT my What!
5. I Choose to be an Investment NOT a Bill!
6. I Choose NOT to Chase!
7. I Choose NOT to Assume!
8. I Choose to Build a Life I Love!
9. I Choose to Project Positivity!
10. I Choose to Believe NO = NEXT!

Bottom line is I don't want to have my head so far up my past that I can't see my future!

Relationships are my most valuable investment as I am the average of my 5 fave peeps!  Given time is my most valuable asset; to unite them is critical to sustaining a quality connection and lasting commitment. 

I am extremely loyal to a fault and have historically sacrificed myself by staying in situation-ships that have broken my heart.  No More!  

I must remember that I will not truly know someone, wholly, until we've spent, at minimum, 200 hours together.  Trust must be earned, not given.

On my way to finding my Shine, I promise myself:

1. I will inform my heart of what it wants, vs. following what it feels it needs!
2. I will allow fear to encourage, not distract me. Problems are opportunities. I will do it afraid!
3. I will remain optimistic, as my life moves in the direction of my strongest thought!
4. I will not offload my pain; NO! I will STOP to DROP and FEEL, then DEAL because that WHY will drive my WHAT and that is WHO I will become.
5. I will accept being perfectly imperfect!

...is a Choice AND it is NOT enough!  It requires daily watering, like a delicate flower.  L O V E...

1. Will not grow if it stops learning about the other.
2. Cannot be given by someone who does not love themself OR received by someone who does not love themself.
3. Does not work if one cheats on themselves to be with the other.
4. Holds a different meaning to different people. When a person enters my life, it may be for me to show them love, or them to remind me how to love myself.
5. Forgives quickly.